P90x intensity

Last night was MY day one of the extremely popular fitness regime, P90x.
Going in, my physical fitness level is about average. My 110lb body is fit but not toned. For over five years most of my fitness has stemmed from cycling,  yoga and Pilates.
It seems almost everyone I know is starting, in the middle of, [...]

I wanna go out and play

Over the past few months I’ve been revising the novel I’ve been working on for far longer than I’d like to admit.
I wish I could say it’s a masterpiece of Catcher In The Rye proportions, but sadly no.
I’m on a very tight deadline at the moment, even still I can’t bring myself to focus. I [...]

Oh-no, I’m a prole?

In Aldous Huxley’s novel Brave New World, people take a drug, Soma.  The drug causes people to be distracted, their thoughts centre around the drug and just how wonderful it makes them feel.   In George Orwell’s 1984, the ordinary citizens (proletariats) are kept amused and addled by the lottery.  These distractions allow the governments to [...]

If I owned my own company…

I wouldn’t want to run a company unless I could beat people up. I’d run into their tiny boxes and scare them. Every now and then I’d even club them on the head.
I’d call it baby seal day.
In the lobby I’d have dungeons and dragons style dice and each morning the staff would have to [...]

Is it considered bad housekeeping if…

I leave the spiders and flies on the floor as cat toys?  

I caught myself daydreaming

I caught myself daydreaming the other day about having a washer and dryer in my rental apartment. 
When I was a kid I used to daydream about being a captain on a space-Zeppelin and being an internationally renowned scuba diver and airplane acrobat.
 
/sigh

Last Will and Testament

Burn me with my combo lock. I’ve had it since grade 7. It’s rusted and cantankerous and makes a particular squeak when I haven’t got the last number just right. Every time I use it I feel fourteen years old again, for all the pimpled bad and scrawny-assed good that life was.
 
That’s my last Will [...]

…Cold Feet, Laundry, Chair Stuffing, Lichen, Viruses–

Lately my mind has been flooded by a series of unrelated mundane things. I’m finding it difficult to concentrate on writing anything.I need to figure out a clever way to tie these things into a story.   … Talking Pee Wee Herman doll, men in sock feet, blurry photographs, broccoli soup, non-decomposing plastic bags.

Woman Claims Squirrel Stalks Her

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening, Josie (not her real name) takes the same path to her gym classes. She noticed that a tail-less squirrel started following her. “I noticed it because it didn’t have a tail. I felt sorry for it. I guess that’s just what it wanted me to do.”
Josie claims that [...]

Hot Chick Threatens to Stop Dressing Skanky

“Well I know I look good in anything.”
Miss Hotty feels that more guys need to at least shape up, and “smarten up”. Calling most of the cat-calling boys, “Joe Duds”. Hotty says she wishes the guys were more like the mating pairs in the animal kingdom. Male birds and fish have to be prettier [...]